Each of us experiences suffering, whether through loss, heartache, or the trials that shape our existence. Yet, in the midst of our most challenging times, have you ever noticed how the universe offers us a hint of light? An opportunity to shift out of patterns that appear chaotic and inexplicable and shift to more uplifting perspectives? These moments may come in the form of unexpected kindness from a stranger, a cherished memory that brings a smile, or a new opportunity that emerges when we least expect it—like the birth of our daughter in my case.
When someone we love passes away, the anniversary of their death transforms into a bittersweet marker of grief—a day that serves as a poignant reminder of our loss. Each year, as that date approaches, we often find ourselves reflecting on the memories we shared and the profound absence left in their wake, dealing with heightened emotions, the pain of their absence mingling with the warmth of nostalgia.
August marks the anniversary of my dad's death, which in and of itself was a pivotal and gut-wrenching awakening. I was 19 years old, 7 months pregnant with our first child, grappling with the loss of my dad and the looming uncertainty of motherhood. Profound loss giving way to incredible joy marked a significant shift in my life. The world felt heavy, and yet the universe was crafting a twist of fate I could never have imagined.
Our first son was born on the cusp of my dad's death. Our daughter arrived almost on the exact stroke of his anniversary 4 years later. By this time, I was fully immersed in the busy life of motherhood with a lively little boy in tow. My own journey through motherhood wasn’t without its hurdles. Her birth marked another significant shift for me—once again caught between life and death, this time, my own.
I won’t go into all the nuances of my near-death experience—there’s simply too much to share. I will say that it completely altered my perspective on life and the afterlife in fundamental ways. I remember leaving my body and hovering in the corner of the room while doctors and nurses scrambled around me. Then, I found myself engaged in a deep conversation about a choice-point with "someone" beyond this world—whether to stay on the other side, or to return to my life on earth. I was told that my return meant taking on new agreements for a life infused with purpose beyond my own. I said yes and 'poof' I was back.
It’s been 30 years since Kaila was born. I marvel at where all that time has gone. Not only did my connection to the other side become undeniable after she was born, navigating complexities of healing, it led me to the work I’m doing today; let's just say it stripped away any trivial concerns I had and illuminated for me a sense of purpose that truly mattered. Since then, the anniversary of my father’s passing transformed into a celebration. It was as if the universe was encouraging me from the time that Kyle was born, to focus on celebrating the gift of life rather than death (which sounds strange considering I am a medium). This time of year became a celebration of my beautiful daughter, whose vibrant spirit embodies resilience and grace. She is a true testament to that even in moments of profound loss, life can gift us with incredible joy and inspiration. Each year, as we celebrate her birthday in conjunction with the anniversary of my father’s passing, I am filled with gratitude for the legacy of love his spirit left behind, which continues to shine through her. She is proof that new beginnings can emerge from the depths of grief, and that the bonds we share with those we have lost can be honoured by embracing life fully. This time of year is not just a reminder of loss; it has become a beautiful expression of continuity—a celebration of life, love, and the resilience that connects generations. More so, it serves as a personal celebration—the day I consciously chose life.
The universe continually orchestrates opportunities for us to celebrate life, even during our most difficult times. It reminds us that amid grief, there is joy to be found, and each moment holds the potential for healing and gratitude. I honor those I have lost by sharing the wisdom gained from those experiences while simultaneously embracing the beauty of the life I continue to live. This delicate balance of existence is the intricate dance of the human condition, where joy always has the potential to triumph over sorrow, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, the light of life can break through.
A change to shift perspective
Life presents each of us with challenges that often feel overwhelming. We all face moments of heartache, loss, and trials that shape who we are and how we navigate our journeys. Yet, within these difficult times lies an opportunity—a chance to shift our perspective and uncover the glimmers of joy that exist even in our darkest hours.
I invite you to take a moment to reflect on the challenges you are facing. Consider the hardships that may have cast shadows over your life and ask yourself: where might there be a silver lining? Can you find something worth celebrating amid the struggle?
Perhaps it’s a cherished memory that brings a smile, an unexpected act of kindness, or a small victory that may have gone unnoticed. Like my own experience of profound loss followed by the joy of my daughter’s birth, you may find instances where life offers you reasons to celebrate amidst grief and difficulty.
Finding the good doesn't diminish the pain we feel; instead, it honors our experiences and helps us shift the narrative of what was. By recognizing and celebrating those moments of light, we cultivate resilience and a deeper appreciation for the journey we are on.
So I encourage you to take a step back, embrace the challenges you face, and consciously look for the moments of joy that can transform your perspective. Share those celebrations, whether big or small, with those around you. Together, let us create a space where we acknowledge both the heartache and the happiness, knowing that joy can always triumph over sorrow—the light is always more powerful than our shadows.