The Christmas holidays are often seen as holy, holly, jolly, and bright, however if you are someone who has lost a loved one, they are a poignant reminder of their absence. As a medium, I have the profound honour of reconnecting people with their loved ones on the other side and sharing messages that reinforce the deepest truth: love never dies. Through my work, I have witnessed the healing power of these connections— from memories, personal anecdotes, and experiences that affirm the ongoing presence of love, which transcends the boundaries of life and death.
Death is undeniably one of the most challenging experiences we navigate in life, accompanied with a mix of emotions—grief, confusion, anger, and even guilt. There is often so much left unsaid: words of love, unresolved feelings, and moments we wish we could relive or clarify.
From my own experiences with loss, I understand that the pain of losing someone we deeply care about doesn’t simply fade away. Instead, it becomes a part of our journey. We learn to live with it, to integrate it into our lives, but we never truly "get over" the profound absence of those we cherish. The holidays can be especially hard as they can trigger memories that complicate our emotions, intertwined with sorrow and love, making it hard to feel jolly and bright.
Grief is not a linear journey; it ebbs and flows. And the intensity of our grief is not just an indication of our sorrow; it is a testament to the rich, meaningful connection we shared. The more deeply we have loved, the more profound our loss will feel. In a society that often pushes us to move on quickly, grief requires us to stop and honour how we feel. It's okay to take our time. It's okay to not be okay. It's all a part of our human experience.
The duality of love and loss illuminates the beauty of our human connection. Embracing this perspective allows us to hold space for our grief while also celebrating the love that inspired it. In this way, we can recognize our pain as a profound gift—a reminder of how much we have loved and how we continue to carry that love forward. It’s vital to nurture yourself as you navigate your grief. Here are some gentle suggestions:
Honour your grief
Create space for it within your holiday practices. Instead of avoiding reminders of your loved one, incorporate elements that celebrate their life. Light a candle in their memory, share stories that make you smile or cry, and create a dedicated space in your heart (and perhaps your home) where their spirit can resonate.
Nurture Yourself
Self-care can easily fall by the wayside over the holidays. Set aside time to engage in activities that bring you comfort , whether it’s a quiet walk in nature, or indulging in a warm cup of tea. Listen to your body and mind, allowing yourself to rest when needed, and seek moments of peace amid the hustle and bustle of the season.
Establish New Traditions
While it’s important to uphold past traditions, consider creating new ones that reflect your current journey. This could be as simple as preparing a special dish in recognition of your loved one or finding a new way to celebrate that incorporates their spirit. Embracing change can help you find new sources of joy, even in the midst of your pain.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Give yourself permission to express your emotions—be it through journaling, art, or simply talking it out. Allowing your feelings to surface validates your experience and can be profoundly liberating. It’s essential to acknowledge that sorrow and joy can coexist; neither diminishes the other.
Remember, it’s also okay to take each day as it comes. The journey of grief is uniquely yours, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it. Your connection with your loved one continues, even if they are no longer here in body.... their love surrounds you still. Your loved one celebrates with you, embracing you through the ebbs and tears of your experience. Their spirit exists in the memories you cherish and in the traditions you keep alive. You may even feel your loved one's presence in quiet or in signs from the universe—a gentle breeze, a butterfly's visit, or a song on the radio. When you think of them, they are there.
This holiday season, allow yourself to grieve and to celebrate simultaneously. Embrace the idea that sorrow and joy can coexist. Remember that it’s okay to take a step back and prioritize your well-being. Your journey through grief is unique, and there’s no right or wrong way to experience it.
As you navigate the complexities of loss this holiday season, know that you are supported. Your loved one is not far away; they walk with you in spirit, filling your heart with the same love that once bound you. In the harmony of cherished memories and the warmth of enduring love, you can find a sense of peace amidst the sorrow.
Wishing you comfort and connection this holiday season.
I invite you to listen to my recent podcast, "Rising Above Loss." In this space, we explore the intricacies of grief, sharing insights and experiences designed to help you on your healing journey.