Light and dark, joy and sorrow, strength and vulnerability—day meets night, creation collides with destruction. This isn't just a reflection of our humanity; it is an integral part of our journey toward growth, authentic resilience, and deeper connection with our true self. At its core, duality speaks to the complexity of the human experience. It beckons us to explore the richness of life—the highs that uplift us and the lows that challenge us. Its the dance of opposites.
Perhaps it’s the Gemini in me, but embracing the dual aspects of my life and embracing my own dichotomies has allowed me to find a sense of balance and a deeper appreciation for the world around me. It's helped me to foster greater compassion and understanding of what it truly means to be human. However, I wasn’t always this way.
There was a time when I resisted my darker feelings and sought to suppress the struggles within me, believing that ignoring them would allow me to move forward. It was the ultimate state of disconnection from my true self. During this period of my life, I often felt like I was merely existing on auto-pilot, going through the motions without truly engaging in my experiences. Each day blended into the next, marked by the same routines and superficial interactions.
I wore a mask of composure, convincing myself and others that I was fine. Yet, underneath that façade, a storm of emotions raged—fear, sadness, and confusion all fought for attention. I avoided confronting these feelings, believing that if I simply pressed on, they would dissipate. But instead of finding relief, I found myself trapped in a cycle of avoidance, where every moment felt hollow and unfulfilling.
Life at that time felt like it was happening to me rather than with me. My days were filled with a sense of numbness, where I engaged with the world but never fully participated. I missed out on the richness of connection with others even at times, with my own babies—I was distant from both myself and them. My laughter felt forced, my smiles absent of genuine joy, and my conversations lacked depth.
I existed in a suspended state—alive in body but not in spirit. It was an exhausting way to live, and yet, it felt easier to maintain that distance than to confront the very struggles I was trying so hard to ignore.
Surviving vs. Thriving
Innate resilience, often viewed as an internal mechanism for survival, may sometimes manifest through suppression and denial. While these coping strategies can provide immediate relief, they often lead us down a path that distances us from our authentic selves. Phrases like “fake it till you make it” or "I’m fine, everything’s fine” reveal the façade many wear to navigate their emotional landscape. We function on the surface, nothing more than survival mode.
When we suppress our emotions, we inadvertently inhibit our capacity for authentic resilience. Unacknowledged feelings do not simply disappear; they linger, often manifesting as anxiety, depression, or physical ailments. Living in denial can heighten our sense of isolation, leading to feelings of unworthiness and emotional distress. The yearning for connection often becomes overshadowed by a fear of vulnerability—a cyclical nature of avoidance inherited through our conditioning.
Thriving Amidst Pain
In contrast, authentic resilience invites us to confront pain and acknowledge our feelings. This form of resilience doesn’t shy away from discomfort; instead, it encourages us to lean into our emotional experiences. By doing so, we affirm that what happened, mattered. We honour 'the one who has endured'. Through our willingness to feel into and be with our pain, we create space for deep healing and begin to recognize our worthiness in the process.
To fully embrace our human duality and cultivate authentic resilience, we can take actionable steps toward self-awareness and healing. Here are three practices to guide you on this journey:
1. Reflection—Take time to reflect on past experiences that have shaped your emotional landscape. Identify where you hold these memories in your body and explore the sensations associated with them. Allow yourself to feel without judgment, and consider the beliefs that may have emerged from these experiences.
2. Calling on Your Higher Power—Connect with your Source of strength—whatever that power means to you. Set intentions for healing and visualize your pain being uplifted. Invite the energy of unconditional love to envelop your feelings, creating space for acceptance and peace.
3. Integration and Empowerment—Journal about your insights, reflecting on what you’ve discovered during your practices. Engage in mindful activities—such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing—that promote ongoing self-awareness.
Being human is not easy, it is intricate in complexity and beautiful in it's paradox. By embracing both our light and dark sides, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and begin to break free from the cycles that hold us back from truly thriving. Duality isn't just a facet of our lives; it embodies the essence of what it means to be human at its best.