Sweet Surrender

What a yucky fucky tough and exhilarating ride this past week has been for me. Self-worth and trust have been at the forefront and I allowed myself to go deep into the mucky human emotional mess of it all – although it was raw and challenging I have indeed come out with a new sense of who I am, what is possible and renewed Faith to boot!
Some times even though I am choosing to move forward in life I have a tendency to put one foot on the brakes. The results of this have my Gemini-mind going crazy with thoughts of not being good enough and forgetting that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
2016 has been filled with all kinds of change. One of the most significant for me is moving forward solo with the Experience Yourself Women’s Retreat. With both of my creative partners stepping away from this event, I literally am beginning again as I prepare for Begin Again” in Kelowna this November. I cannot imagine myself NOT facilitating this retreat; the power behind the love, healing, friendships and transformation that takes place in a few days is by far one of the greatest presence of miracles I have the honour of witnessing. This retreat is a part of my heart and soul and purpose; God itself breaths through it.
Yet, following my heart and the guidance of Spirit is not always easy (Far from it!) . The guidance is clear. – all I need do is trust and proceed.  The energy supporting  it’s purpose – HUGE! And beginning again has brought up all kinds of doubts and fears that have had me considering back-up plans and/or cancelling the event completely. I have grieving for the past, present and future and everything I had hoped or dreamed for EY. I miss the collaboration, sharing in every aspect of the possibilities that united us in purpose, the behind the scenes beautiful chaos and the celebration with my soul-sisters.
Solo – it has been a difficult to accept and I am forgiving myself for that. Still have some BIG deep inner work to do (OH fuckity fuck fuck fuck)! Deep down, I know that I am a child of God – of the Universe – of the ONE itself who has inherited divine capacities but that doesn’t mean that my lil’human doesn’t freak out, lose her patience and faith every now and again too.
Spirit has placed a dream in my heart for a better world and I pray that as I speak my truth that in some small way, I can make a difference. This is a story of beginning again that could either make or break me AND I intend to come through shining!
I surrender.
…My wishes dreams and desires and all I imagined it to be
…My ideas of you me and them 
…The why and if only and the doing
…My pain and tears and heartache
…The past present and future
I surrender not because I am giving up. I surrender to allow for the sheer delight of hopelessness turned hope.
I surrender to the greater plan through forgiveness of my own self
I surrender so that I may fall forward into trust with the unseen and unknown
I surrender so that I can rise and begin again
So I end my babbling inviting you to take a look at what situation, relationship, or circumstance that you may need to surrender to your higher power? Do you believe in yourself and your innate strength to Begin Again? I hope so!